on Phesants (February 13, 2006 9:48 PM)
Posted by: Good Will
Posted by: Good Will
Assimilated Press: Orwell, Texas - President Bush, acting on instructions from Vice President Dick Cheney, issued a top secret executive order on Monday revoking the American citizenship of Harry Whittington, the man Vice President Cheney shot in a hunting accident.
In a second related executive order President Bush then revoked Whittington's status as a human being and declared that, for official purposes, Whittington would now be declared a pheasant and as such would be a legally hunted game bird in the state of Texas. Upon leaving the hospital, Whittington will be banded and released in the wild.
When asked to comment on this extraordinary use of power, President Bush replied "I'm a war president. In order to protect the American people I need to be able to make a man into a game bird."
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez added "The authority for the President to make a man into a bird is in the Constitution. It's the part written in invisible ink that can only be deciphered if you are wearing specially manufactured viewing glasses made by Diebold."
In a second related executive order President Bush then revoked Whittington's status as a human being and declared that, for official purposes, Whittington would now be declared a pheasant and as such would be a legally hunted game bird in the state of Texas. Upon leaving the hospital, Whittington will be banded and released in the wild.
When asked to comment on this extraordinary use of power, President Bush replied "I'm a war president. In order to protect the American people I need to be able to make a man into a game bird."
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez added "The authority for the President to make a man into a bird is in the Constitution. It's the part written in invisible ink that can only be deciphered if you are wearing specially manufactured viewing glasses made by Diebold."